I do something stupid: 1/25/06
Published January 25th, 2006 in A day in the lifeToday was a crowning achievement: I have finally been published, over on collegehumor.com. It’s a pretty funny piece, titled “Holy Shit Am I Smart”.
But in response to most of the emails I have received in response, I only have this to say: I reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally wish I hadn’t misspelled “plebeian”.
Update, 4:30 pm: The article has been corrected. I am once again super-duper smart.
I found your invective on CH to be a disappointing attempt to prove your intellect. Had you supported your stance with more than a basic knowledge of language,-your use, and subsequent explanation of illiteration being the case in point-perhaps using conceit to make a more elaborate explanation of your point and subsequently making the point in a less direct and aggressive manner, you may have drawn some sort of praise from the intellectual audience that you claim membership to. Your juvenalian satire is the first indication of an emotional AND intellectual immaturity, as only a young child, or an imbecile would use the deprecation of others to stroke his own ego. Please do not misunderstand me, I am not inflecting that you are an imbecile, or that you have the intellect of a small child, but rather that a more Horation form of satire would have served your purpose with more grace. Being a large fan of Ayn Rand’s philosophy (and works), and a student of Nietzsche’s philosophies, I choose to understand your attempt to be a sign of a blooming intellect that understands the concept of the human being as both a means and an end, but also an intellect which has not quite reconciled itself with the true reality with which it must deal in order to reach the ranks of Hemingway, Poe (a name I put on this list hesitatingly), and Shakespeare.
I have a sincere desire that you may respond and we can change your rant and my response into a dialogue rather than letting them remain the lonely sarcastic diatribes they now are.
sincerely yours,
james (jimmy) Brochu
p.s. please do not bother to point out my lack of format in this e-mail, because I recognize it myself, and I refuse to play semantics games with people like those that wrote responses to your article that were critical of your spelling error in Plebeian.
I saw like 7 hot chicks today, and they were all talking about your brilliant essay. When I told them that I knew you, after assuaging their initial disbelief, it was nothing but oral sex and beef taco hot pockets for me. And when I say beef taco hot pockets, I’m talking about the delicously microwavable stuffed pastry snack, rather than making allusion to female genitals.
http://www.hotpockets.com/graphics/hot/products/db/beeftaco_400.jpg
I enjoyed your essay, and you did make one mistake, but not the one you mention above.
I thought you spelled plebian wrong on purpose. You crafted this persona of an insecure intellectual who is determined to prove to everyone else how smart he is, mainly because he has his own doubts about his intelligence. I thought that the spelling “error” was a well planned technique, using grammatical errors as a means to further advance the narrative. It worked perfectly, until you blew it by admitting that it was a mistake.
How many times do you think some english phd candidate has attributed brilliant themes and subtle mastery to some shit that the author never intended? It’s like with the chili; if you burn it, just tell everyone that you were going for a skokey flavor.
I thought it was a well written and entertaining piece, honestly. I really don’t get why people would take offense to some literary bragadocchio and feel the need to flex their nuts and berate you with, “Nuh uhs! You’re stupid, it is I who is the one with the smartness, guy!” and such.
But seriously, you shouldn’t have admitted to that spelling error. If anyone gave you shit about it, you should have responded by chaulking it to ironic humor.
F-n funny article. I laughed ’til I stopped. Hilarious bio too, except that every time I try to hum “Shaft” with your name, it comes out sounding like the theme from “Fame” and I start imagining you spontaneously dancing on cars.