I Do Something Stupid: 2/8/06
Published February 8th, 2006 in A day in the lifeI’m writing something that I’d like to get published on some site or another, and I had a print out of it because I wanted to look it over and I had a few minutes during my lunch break. I’m not going to give away the gist of it away, and keep in mind it’s a humor column, which means it’s 10% exaggeuration, 89% lie, and 1% funny, but the following sentences appear in it:
- NOT THINKING ABOUT YOUR HERPES NOW, ARE YOU? (In bold, no less)
- “No, I gave you genital warts…you’ll see.” (Also in bold)
- my penis enters a lot of hot skanky vaginas
Now, I’m not sure what my boss saw. She was only behind my desk for maybe a minute, and her eyesight is not terrific. All in all though, I think I can rule out Sleeping My Way To The Top. Guess I have to think of a Plan B.
What if the boss lady has a stank vagina? I bet you didn’t think of that.
I see the money rollin’ in already.
I had an idea for an underpants slogan, but it needs some refining. Here is the basic idea though, work with me:
U.P.O.T.O. - The moron’s utopia
I basically want to play around with the fact that the acronym looks like a dyslexic kid’s attempt at spelling utopia, while also insinuating that the site contains retarded content. I’m not even sure if you should mention utopia explicitly, maybe going with:
U.P.O.T.O. - the dyslexic’s darapise
U.P.O.T.O. - chaz si ckufing unnfy
you get the idea, if you’re feeling it, run with it
I’ve got another angle for you:
UPOTO Bawa
He come in the night and press down on me with great power.
that’s too out there, I know.
Occupational Government,
I was feeling you on the nicknames.
But now, not so much.
Well, you can feel your gay superhero dolls for a while, and then you can feel me some more later. I’ll be in the Basement Bathroom in Gilman, with my utility belt.
They are ACTION FIGURES!!
Green Tea came out of my nose