There is a time and a place for everything
Published February 14th, 2006 in MiscellaneousI was just in the bathroom, standing at a urinal when a facilities guy I know gets up to the adjacent urinal. Well, when I say I know him, what I mean is, I know him as long as I’m not standing with my dick in my hand. So I was perplexed when he started talking to me.
“Thank God it’s not snowing anymore, right?”
Me: “………. Yep.”
Him: “Twenty inches. Can you believe that?”
Me (dick still in hand): “………………………………..Nope.”
This is the conversation you have with people when you’re stuck in an elevator. I’m pretty sure it’s socially acceptable to stand next to a guy at a urinal and not say anything at all; I wouldn’t have gone back to my cubicle wondering “Is the facilities guy mad at me?”
Then when we’re washing our hands, I tell him to have a good one and he doesn’t respond. NOW he’s out of conversation??? Is today Opposite Day? I thought it was Valentines Day, and I don’t want to wish Wonder Woman the wrong thing.
Pee-time is me-time. Never talk to me when I’m holding my dick. One way or another it means I’ve got business to take care of. And if you have to say something, make sure it doesn’t involve the words “twenty inches.” Now I feel inadequate - I only got fourteen.
Sounds like a slightly familiar story. I once had a guy that I didn’t know (I guess he worked somewhere else in the building) sit down on the can in the stall next to me and proceed to make the most god awful noises I have ever heard. Sounds I didn’t know the human body was able to make. After when I’m washing my hands he comes out and looks at me in the mirror and says “Man, do NOT have the cafeteria food today.” Thanks buddy I could have figured that out on my own. He then sticks his hand out and introduces himself and told me where he works. Now I have finished washing my hands and he hasn’t even started yet. I responded “Nice to meet you, my name’s…Sorry I my hands are wet.” Then I grabbed a paper towel dried my hands then say bye and walked out. I mean why???
The real problem is you didnt postion your self properly when it comes to urinal strategy. One must think ahead before the dick comes out.
For shame… shame!
The real question is did he make eye contact? I think it should be against the law to speak in bathrooms. The bathroom is like a place of worship. You’re there to be with the toliet gods not others.
Glad to see my three favorite commenters all together like this. The best is my friend Mike. Once, after a movie, we were headed to the men’s room. Mid sentence, dude totally paused and didn’t say a thing til we set foot outside, and then he started up right where he left off. That’s why he’s my friend.
With a friend like that I can guess he didnt choose the urinal next to you either.
Now thats a true friend.