When Rock-Paper-Scissors fails us all
Published February 21st, 2006 in MiscellaneousOkay, I feel a little bad about posting and making light of a story where a guy died. I am very aware of my own mortality, and in all probability the victim was an alright guy. Most people are.
That being said, this story is so crazy it almost seems like fiction. I’m too impressed by the sheer clusterfuck-ness of this whole debacle to not point it out.
1) The guy got killed by his roommate over toilet paper… You hear that, roommies? Those chocolate chips in the freezer are OFF LIMITS.
2) The link that says “Watch how an 11-year-old helped get the confession” … What you don’t know is that the kid’s last name is Sipowitz. And he beat the guy with a phone book.
3) That the victim escalated the argument by pulling out a rifle - and got killed by two hammers… Clearly he never heard the age old piece of advice: never bring a rifle to a hammer fight. Paper can beat Scissors if Scissors has really bad aim.
This story is like eight Darwin Awards rolled into one.
Dammit, I was going to try and intimidate you with that story. Lesson learned: do less work, waste more time on internet threatening roomates.
You know how society is always telling us not to judge others or think that you’re better than anyone else? I believe this story is an excellent way to say “F-that”. I’m a WAY better person that those springer-show rejects.
I look at this story as an opportunity–dude may not have a lawyer yet! oh, wait. strike that.
I don’t like how everybody just assume the dead guy was the one to used the last of the toilet paper. What if it was the murder, but he was just a better with a hammer than the other was with a rifle.
So to all those roomates out there, eat the chocolate chips in the freezer, but you just have to know you are a better fighter than Z with his underpants on the inside or out.
And asone of the few people replying to this blog from a state where there are laws requiring bars to post signs reminding patrons that they can’t bring their guns inside…
“I’m sure the victim was an all right guy.” Are you kidding. He picked up a rifle in a fight over toilet paper. You don’t go bring a deadly weapon into a fight unless you are ready to be deadly or dead. Now granted we don’t really know when crazy smarsher guy brought in his hammers, but there has got to be a point where you woose out and just go get some more toilet paper and say you are sorry then start looking for a new roomate.
Mo, did you proof read or are you drinking on the job again? Do what I do, type your response in Word so you get all of the good correctimifing tools then paste it into the blog. That way hardly anyone will know you can barely read.
Cheater.