You dropped a bomb on Z… baby
Published May 22nd, 2006 in A day in the lifeAs I’ve mentioned before, I teach a test prep course. Being the entertainer I am, I try and make it as interesting as possible. Last week I was in the middle of a class reviewing two acronyms we use as mnemonic devices: SEAL and BLEND. These acronyms apply to the same subject material, and I told the joke I always tell when we get to this particular lesson:
“So we have our SEAL and then we BLEND it. And what do we get?” (Pause for comedic effect.)
“A fatty beverage!”
Now, even though I’m not exactly playing the Apollo theatre, I’d like to think that my students appreciate my efforts. I’d also like to think that cupcakes cure cancer. The silence that followed was absolutely staggering. At least, it was staggering, until I heard from the back of the room:
“Have you thought about going back to grad school? Comedy isn’t working out for you.”
For the record, I got heckled at a test prep course. What hurts the most is that it must have been my timing, because let’s face it, that joke is GOLD.
It is a good joke. You should tease her until she crys.
I can’t believe someone heckled you at a test prep place. My god people this isn’t comedy defensive driving.
Z I like you; thats a given.
That joke; dont ever use it again.
Seriously, bury it in the back yard, cover it in concrete and never speak of it again.
I cant believe you would think that joke wouldn’t get heckled.
I don’t think the joke is all that bad; but context is everything; If it was told by a 70 year old algebra teacher to his students, it would be sort of amusing. Being under 30 I think your students expect something a bit cooler, or hip. A joke that contains the word; benifer or tom-KAT. perhaps
Am I playin’ cards with ‘tards here people? Laugh damn it! Laugh!
GQ: if I were to dig a hole in the back yard and throw the joke in, do you know what it would make it?
BURIED TREASURE, cause that joke is GOLD! Hah!
Two-for-two!
I’m all for dumb jokes, but that one needs some improving. Let me give you a little tip here, whenever you have a joke in the form of “what do you get when…”, the funniest answer is always “a boner”. The thought of someone getting a boner when they put a seal in a blender, that’s quality. Have you heard my joke where I ask “what do you get when you stab a six year old 66 times?” Now you know.
You know what other test skills I hope your passing along?
Your special brand of finger masticating cuticle jihad, and also, your family’s special ability to freak the fuck out.
Can’t teach those. You’re born with them.
A boner… ha ha ha. THAT’s gold!
I fixed the first part of that sentance.
I also agree with the second half as well.
Z, as the magic playing, comic book reading, robot building stud that you are. I would expect better from you. A fatty beverage?? Come on man, your better then that.
I have decided not to attack the treasure joke.
It felt it would be cruel.
oooh oooh
you know how baby seals are called pups, well you could call your blended seal a slush puppy. that’s pretty dorky
not as good as “a boner” though
GQ, it’s time you learned the lesson that everyone needs to learn, whether it’s my family, my girlfriend, or that guy who I was going to donate a kidney to.
Sooner or later, I disappoint everybody.
Not true,
I just wait wait for Z to do dumb shit or fuck up,
and he’s never disappointed me before
Naw naw naw… Y’all don’t get it. Have you ever SEEN Z tell an intentionally bad joke, then insist that it’s the funniest joke ever? He gets into this “Ta da!” stance and looks kinda like Al Jolson or Fozzie Bear or some shit. Anyway, the whole package of intentional dorkiness is pretty fookin’ hilarious. May that student fail the LSAT and live a miserable life of regret.
If the above is a true picture of Z’s joke telling skills; and the above mention picture was used in the delivery of the joke in question.
Then, I may not feel so jaded.
You need to match the Joke to the audience. Im pretty sure if you told that joke to a class where you could flunk people, you would not get any hecklers. Who knows you could even get a giggle or two.
Try this one next time: A penquin is driving his car in New York. (Wait, there’s more.) All of a sudden smoke starts pouring out of the engine, so he pulls into a garage (in New York, that’s funny by itself). He asks the mechanic can he fix it, and the mechanic says he can, but it will take a couple of hours. The mechanic then suggests that the penquin bide his time at the fish and chips place across the street. Two hours later, the penquin returns and inquires about his car. The mechainc says, “You blew a SEAL. Wiping his mouth, the penquin replies, “No, that’s just tartar sauce.
Of course when you tell it you be the penguin and wipe your mouth as you deliver the punch line.
Can’t help you with the BRAND. Well, maybe it could be the BRAND garage.
Blend.
OG, the baby-seals-called-pups-blended-seal-slush-puppy joke was AWESOME.
z, you? disappoint?! you partially recovered with the buried treasure bit. partially.
Remind me to not let OG babysit DIRO when he’s anywhere near six years old.