Underpants On The Outside

Here’s why I’ll probably never work for CNN. If I was ever writing an article with the headline, “Does estrogen make cancer behave differently?” I would have probably ended it with,

Scientists developed their theorem after being baffled by the behavior of certain tumors. “It defied all rationality,” stated one anonymous researcher. Furthermore, doctors observed the tumors tended to grow despite having recently joined a gym, possibly due to uncontrollable chocolate cravings. Encouragingly, the tumors responded favorably to repeated views of the series finale of Sex and the City, particularly when Carrie ended up with Big.

(For the record, cancer isn’t funny. I’m not trying to make fun of cancer; I’m trying to make fun of women, who are HILARIOUS.)

(Apologies to Wonder Woman and my mom, now that I know she reads this. I’m really trying not to think about how many blowjob related jokes I’ve made here.)

Update: I had screwed up inserting the link, but it works now.