Underpants On The Outside

Defying all expectations, I didn’t embarrass myself at John Law’s wedding this weekend.  In fact, if I might boast a moment, my speech was a moving tribute to my friends, and how lucky we are to have John Law’s wife join our group. 

Then my friends reminded me why they mean so much to me by leaving me at a club in the middle of nowhere.  I probably deserved it; after all, it was reckless to go take a piss without telling anyone the way I did.  Luckily that 250 pound guy claimed the only cab; I almost forgot that I didn’t have a dollar on me after paying cover charges for me, a buddy and his girlfriend. 

If I didn’t have such a sharp eye for irony I might have tripped over it.

I was a little concerned being the only guy for miles wearing sleeves, let alone a suit, not to mention the fact that even the ladies outweighed me by at least twenty pounds.  And when the cops started arresting people for reasons I couldn’t determine, I’ll admit I panicked a bit.  But something about hearing your friend say, “Oh, shit, you were still there?  Sorry I didn’t pick up the phone, I was getting a beej from that ugly chick” makes it all okay.  Thanks, guys.