Too much blow, not enough job
Published August 2nd, 2006 in MiscellaneousSo me and Wonder Woman are hanging out in Turks and Caicos. I never knew where T&C was located before, but if you’re curious, here’s a hint: it’s directly in the the way of Tropical Storm Chris.
Currently, conditions are bright and clear, but that’s because Chris is just a Tropical Storm, which is kind of like the yellow belt of weather patterns. But between now and our flight out on Friday, Chris might get his first name legally changed to ‘Hurricane’. And then things get fun.
Just in case, me and WW went to the grocery store today to get some emergency provisions. Here’s what we got:
- Bread, Peanut Butter (Chunky Style) and Strawberry Jelly. I originally picked up Grape, but while beggars can’t be choosers, apparently people preparing for a hurricane can. Now you get back to aisle six and find us some Strawberry, Z, and those Sun Chips had damn well better be French Onion.
- Sun Chips (French Onion)
- Crackers and jalapeno jack cheese (just because it’s a hurricane doesn’t mean we can’t party)
- A lot of water
- Six pack of Coronas and two limes (see crackers and jalapeno cheese)
- Water shoes for WW, just in case we get to go on our kayaking trip tomorrow. It’s important to note that while we had thirty minutes in the grocery store with significantly long lines, WW spent at least five of those minutes picking out these shoes. They’re pink.
So, I’m now in my first official Hurricane Watch, but it’s really turning out to be more like a “Weather Channel Watch”. If anybody could provide anecdotal evidence of the Old Wife variety that could convince WW that girl-on-girl-on-me threesomes have been known to prevent hurricanes, I’d really appreciate it.
Sounds like Chris will be giving it to both of you where the sun don’t shine but the hurricane does. Its a nice Pat-ish name but I suppose the weather service alternates so they can tell you if the water enema threesome is being given by a male or female
Don’t be a pussy. Rent a sailboat.
I wouldn’t go with the “it prevents Hurricanes”.
Instead, “this could be our final days on this planet, it would be a shame to leave here being, girl-on-girl-on-z virgins.” That seems to work.
To illuminate z’s post re: threesomes– z wanted us to invite this under-age girl to join us. We saw her in the resort’s restaurant. She was on vacation with her family and was MAYBE 16. Does anybody else find something wrong with this picture?!
Hurricane update: we made it back to good ol’ NYC with nothing more than a five-minute rain storm about an hour before our plane’s departure. I think the folks at the weather channel make tropical storm stuff up so that they don’t lose their jobs.
Hurricane preparation tips: definitely buy the Crackers and jalapeno jack cheese, if for no other reason than having delicious snacks while you’re waiting in the airport to board your flight
We ended up leaving the six pack of Coronas and two limes for our resort’s housekeeping staff. We were in no shape to down the beers last night after eating dinner at a restaurant with the island’s largest vodka selection.
Also, though the weather reports claimed there was an impending hurricane, z and I went on an awesome sea kayaking trip. Again, there were absolutely no signs of inclement weather.
Bottom line–Turks and Caicos was awesome.
Claiming this chick was 16 is a complete lie by Wonder Woman. She was easily in her early twenties, but since her dad spent a lot of time complaining how “friendly” she was with a bunch of staff members at another resort, I’d say she was in her late twenties in vagina-years.
I have to wonder if ‘dad’ wasn’t a highly sophisticated pimp…
I know it ain’t easy, but pimps can’t complain about pimping unless they’re rapping.