Bridging the gap
Published August 21st, 2006 in A day in the lifeSaturday night, a couple friends and I were ramping up preparations for a long night of Xboxing. Normally this type of thing requires beer, but in a last minute audible somebody suggested a couple bottles of wine instead, which seemed like an interesting change of pace.
We went to a local wine store, which was empty except for a couple of late-twenties females doing some shopping. (Since me and my friends were filling our stereotypical requirements of playing sports-related video games all night, I’m going to presume the ladies were just picking up supplies before watching a Grey’s Anatomy DVD.)
We did our thing and they did theirs, resulting in the usual liquor/book store interaction of wandering through the narrow aisles, barely muttering “excuse me” and trying to look like we were knowledgeable about wines and not just picking the cheapest bottle with a cool label. Then my buddy joked, “hey, we should probably start with a red and then switch to a white for Madden…” and to our surprise the ladies laughed harder than we did. Not only did they get the joke; they loved it.
I’m not saying they were down to go back to the apartment to bump controller pads, but I’d be lying if it didn’t seem like there was a spark of interest. Not in us; good god, no. But it was as if they had suddenly realized that plasma rifling your best friend in Halo and a pleasant glass of Shiraz weren’t mutually exclusive.
I’d say that there was hope for us all, but later my friend’s sister picked up a controller during a game of Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2005 and proceeded to score a double eagle and a hole-in-one on consecutive shots. So we stopped playing. Fuck if we’re gonna let some girl beat us.
(For the record, I watch Grey’s Anatomy. Give me a break; I live with two women. But the difference between it and video games is that there’s no amount of wine that can make that show comprehensible. The confident hot girl who cooks gets the least action, but the girl who is insecure, indecisive and completely irrational has to make the tough choice between Patrick Dempsey and Chris O’Donnell. Keep living the dream, ladies. Meanwhile, I’m going to be over here soaking in a tub of Axe body spray and waiting for my threesomes.)
Wine and gaming do not mix.
Alchohol and gaming do not mix for that matter.
You can not come up with witty comments and snarky remarks after blowing off some 12 year olds rocket launcher with a Shiraz in hand. You can not circle their burning Mech and tell them ” Uh Oh, better get Macco” with a nice Merlot.
Also its best to save the wine for that evening, you are going to need it to make up comming to bed at 6 in the morning.
Isn’t it great that there are so many different types of people in the world, and that we can celebrate our diversity. With that said, GQ, you are a fucking dork.
I love you to, Big Brother.
like the girls in the store, i’m laughing right now because otherwise i’d be crying. THIS is what men do when left to their own devices?! drunk gaming (with cheap wine, no less)?! If you don’t mind, i’d like to maintain my presumption that you guys were having intelligent conversation about your relationships, aspirations and world affairs all night. but i digress.
the important question is: how much wine did friend’s sister imbibe before killing you guys in golf?
Wonder Woman, we need to clarify that not all men think drinking and gaming mix. This is clearly Z bending to peer pressure.
Our intelligent conversations about relationships involved a tent with a plasma TV in it and a measuring device tentatively titled “The Nag-o-meter”. I don’t yet grasp the science behind it.
Regarding her wine consumption: I wasn’t watching. I was too busy trying to light a fart on fire. But she was definitely drinking.
BTW, Wonder Woman. I’m bringing a bottle of wine home; please take my Magic cards down from the shelf.
I almost got sick once playing Quake 1 after drinking a healthy portion of SoCo.