Underpants On The Outside

I’m changing jobs next week, so these days I have the happy-go-lucky attitude that comes along with being a lame-duck on his way out.  The only time I’m lifting a finger is to eat lunch.

Still, I’d rather not ask my bosses the clichéd, “what are you gonna do - fire me?” so I’ve been working on a few different responses.  Here are the working drafts:

• I’m gonna eat your unemployment checks for breakfast.  Or your unemployment checks will pay for breakfast.  Which ever is easier.
• What are you gonna do: have yo’ momma fire me?  She is too fat and/or stupid!  Not to mention she doesn’t work in Human Resources. 
• Don’t hate the player; hate his need for greater responsibility and higher pay.