Check out the big brain on Brad (and Brett)
Published October 31st, 2007 in A day in the lifeI have to admit that I’m not a huge fan of Halloween. When I was a kid it was all about the pursuit of candy and not getting beaten up, which I was really good at. I was adorable and small, which provided me with above average candy yields as well as a high power-to-weight ratio for increased acceleration (away from attackers). But at some point Halloween became focused on the pursuit of sex, right around the time when I became significantly less adorable while remaining just as small - not an advantageous combination when one is Trick or Treating for loin candy.
Now I’m not such a fan of Halloween. Don’t get me wrong; any time a vast number of women want to dress up as a Sexy Fill-in-the-Blank, I’m all for it. But the expectations are just too high. Costumes have to be clever and artistic, but I am clever or artistic too infrequently to ever be both at the same time. And if you go by the liquor ads, the only good Halloween party is one where swimsuit models dressed as nurses and kittens throw you (and your Bacardi Silver) into a pool.* Anything less and you might as well have stayed home, loser.
That being said… Halloween 2007 is going to be a good one. That’s because today I’ve been published on McSweeney’s. (You can find the article here.) I’ve already mentioned in this space how much I enjoy and respect McSweeney’s, and even though they’ve been rejecting my submissions for about two years now, my respect wasn’t in a Groucho Marx / “I don’t care to belong to any club that will have me as a member” sort of way. No, McSweeney’s is awesome because they’re, like, all literary ‘n’ stuff.
What that means is that by being published there I am hereby officially “smart.” RECOGNIZE MY BRAIN SKILLS, BITCHES!***
*Later to have sex with you.**
**and your Bacardi Silver
***Sorry for using the b-word, Mom.
They paid you for that? Just kidding, that was almost as funny as the Aquaman piece - almost. And by the way, if you were quoting Pulp Fiction, the guy’s name was Brett, not Brad. But “you a smart motherfucka,” regardless.
Apologies to Z’s mom for the use of foul language.
She’s okay with foul language - just not the b-word.
For the record, McSweeney’s doesn’t pay. You don’t do McSweeney’s for the money; you do it for the glory. And the women. And if I even came close to the Aquaman piece then I am fine with that.
Really? Brett?? Next you’re going to tell me there’s a Muppet named Janice. (I’m not exactly batting a thousand when it comes to pop culture, am I…)
Much to my wife’s chagrin, I have seen Pulp Fiction approximately 17,652 times, so I’m pretty sure his name’s Bret(t?). “You read the Bible much, Bret?”
Don’t you mean Slutty Fill-in-the-Blank?
I think he says Brad.
There is some debate on the matter:
http://www.therealjoshanderson.com/2006/12/pulp-fiction-debate-brad-or-brett-you.html
Listen to the audio clip.
It sounds like he starts to say Brad, but then realizes that is wrong and tries to turn it into Brett
But when they first walk into the apartment, Sam/Jules points at him sitting in the chair and says, “you must be Brett”
And maybe it’s bias from seeing the movie soooo many times, but that soundbite sounded like Brett to me. I can understand what OG’s saying about him starting to say Brad, but, to me, it sounds like he’s just drawing out the word.
Hey, thanks there’s not nearly enough opportunities to use the phrase “loin candy” thanks for writing one that works.
Spiderguy,
I agree completely that the character is named Brett, but really, that is completely unrelated to what Jules actually says in that one particular quote of interest. I’m sure that Bush has speech writers who can write in complete sentences with real words, but that’s not always what comes out of his mouth. In fact, I think it makes a lot of sense for Jules to intentionally call him by the wrong name in that instance.
You see spiderguy, repeatedly and intentionally calling someone by the wrong name is a tried and tested mainstay of psychological bullying. It’s basically like saying, you’re not important enough for me to remember your name. If you think about it in the context of what else is going on, where Brett is forced to sit down while Jules stands over him and eats his food, it’s pretty obvious that Jules is doing some serious Cesar Milan dominance shit to Brett. In that context, I think it would be a pretty brilliant piece of dialogue to also have Jules intentionally call him by the wrong name.
OG,
Touche. I’m going to go pee myself and hide in the corner now.