This Will Be A Day Long Remembered: Updates on Z and Wonder Woman’s Wedding
Published March 17th, 2008 in A day in the lifeAs the day fast approaches (I have no idea how fast, because I have no idea when it will be) I will endeavor to leave regular updates about the fun/trials and tribulations of planning our wedding. That way, readers can feel like they’re right there with us, which should be particularly helpful for those who I do not like enough to invite. And if any of you think it’s tasteless to name this feature using a quote where Darth Vader predicts the success of the fascist Empire and the Dark Side, well… you probably have a good point.
This weekend, Wonder Woman and I flew to Los Angeles to meet vendors and scout venues. It was a busy Saturday: at nine am we were in Long Beach to meet with a photographer. By noon we were downtown to look at possible venues, crack addicts and prostitutes. By three we were in Playa Vista, by four we were in Culver City, and by five-thirty we were in the Palisades. For those of you who are unfamiliar with Los Angeles geography, let me put it this way: if I could have just added “disarm bomb in Reseda” to the itinerary I would have successfully completed a season of 24. This was especially fun after I woke up Friday morning and the top story on Yahoo’s homepage was “Gas prices in California hit record high.” Bonus.
We did have some luck on our side, as we found our photographer on the first try. Actually, luck had very little to do with it - we found her because Wonder Woman has been tirelessly searching on the internet. I can’t express how much I appreciate her efforts, but I will give it a shot once I get done playing Assassin’s Creed on my Xbox 360.
I just hope she appreciates my own contributions as well. I believe I was particularly helpful during our interview of said photographer. First of all, I doubt Wonder Woman would have noticed that the photographer was pretty hot if I hadn’t pointed it out. I also took the initiative when it came to tactfully asking the photographer the tough questions, such as where her restroom was, and how she dealt with adversity: “What was the worst thing that’s gone wrong at a wedding? Because a lot of things are going to go wrong at ours. Like, A LOT. For instance, what would you do in the event of a grease fire?”
Though I have to admit that by then I was just going through the motions for WW’s sake. I had already decided this woman was the right photographer for us, and no, not because she was cute. It was based on a much more objective standard; one that can be purchased semi-annually from 14-year old girls. That’s right, I’m talking about Thin Mints.
It was the first thing I noticed when we entered her studio: a plate of Samoas, Thin Mints, and one of those other Girl Scout cookies that are bullshit when compared to Thin Mints and Samoas and therefore don’t even deserve names. I felt compelled to mention how impressed I was with her portfolio - shouting, “Sweet! Girl Scout cookies!” as I stuffed two in my mouth just in case they weren’t meant for me - and on the outside chance I wasn’t sold yet, the photographer then said, “Sorry, I didn’t have time to freeze them.” Keep in mind that my love for Wonder Woman was initially based on her refusal to eat in restaurants that serve Pepsi. Suddenly it felt like the photographer and I had grown up together, except I had never actually eaten Thin Mints off a plate before. (My initial reaction: thumbs down. They don’t taste any better, and now you have to wash a plate. Booo.)
Note: some of you may not be impressed that the photographer knew that Thin Mints are meant to be eaten frozen. I, too, once assumed this was common knowledge, but living on the east coast has introduced me to scores of the unwashed masses that eat Thin Mints warm, like peasants and dogs. Believe me, they exist! They also leave their batteries in unrefrigerated drawers, the fools! Nevertheless, we must show pity, no matter how much we are disgusted.
After that the day becomes a bit of a blur, but the bits that I remember only reinforce my already-strong campaign for MVP of this wedding planning process. For instance, I drove us all over the place, and only managed to get us lost in my hometown twice! (National is north of Washington? Since when???)
We’ll be making at least one more trip back there to meet with more vendors, but I don’t want them to read this and think they can plunk down a box of Thin Mints and expect to get our business. No - the bar has been raised, and now my deposit check goes to the first DJ with kosher salami on Ritz crackers. (Turntables optional.)
MVP! MVP!
Your experience with the photographer went better than mine. I spent the whole time looking at the portfolio wondering where the nude pictures were.
Our photographer *did* have nudes in her portfolio.
That’s how much we rock.
Tell ya mama.
Hi guys. I’m torn and believe that you readers can help.
We’re down to two venue choices, each with its own set of challenges.
Beach Views
Should we rent the glass-walled place in Pacific Palisades over-looking the ocean, even if the venue rules state that we have to shut down the party by 11pm and the max capacity is 150? Folks would have to drive home/to the hotel afterwards unless we rented a bunch of shuttles.
OR
City Fun
Should we rent the downtown art gallery space, which may not be in the safest part of LA? We can party all night, the place is more spacious and within walking distance of several hotels. However, my dad keeps pointing out that there’s no view (except for an alley and brick wall) and it’s basically a big, empty space that we’d have to fill with lots of rental stuff to make it comfy. And, well, you’ve already read what z thought about some of the folks who wander around the area.
Your feedback could help decide the venue choice.
Pick me! Pick me! Beach views! People will have to drive drunk from downtown, art galleries are just expensive boxes that people sell their “art” in and having a homeless IVDU in your photos isn’t as avant garde as you might think. Plus you will have the money for the shuttles/taxi vouchers if you go with the beach locations. I think we started our wedding at 4PMish and by 11PM the bridal party was at In N Out burger getting their drunk-ass double double run in, so don’t worry about the 11PM end time. And 150 a nice intimate crowd for a wedding.
What time are you thinking for the ceremony? How long of a ceremony? And what time of year?
If you are thinking late spring/summer, a beautiful sunset view for the ceremony, and an hour of vowing it up - you will probably be paying an awful lot for a rather short reception. If however you are thinking before daylights saving time and sunset - the ocean view place is more reasonable.
Beach Views!! Most of us will end up at the same hotel. and those who aren’t staying there will prob come back anyway and keep the party going. Plus you can do an art gallery anywhere. Beach is so LA.
And I’d prefer not to get propositioned while I am all prettied up for you two. Unless I am getting 4 diamond hourly rate…
Here’s additional info to help you guys help us better:
The event is mid-fall 2008 (save-the-date card is forthcoming).
The ceremony time is probably 4pm on a Saturday afternoon.
I agree that 150 is a nice intimate crowd for a wedding. So, for all of you guys reading this: please do not come to our wedding. There. Now maybe we’ll only have 150 people at the wedding (my parents used up at least 70 spots for my relatives alone. No Joke.)
ok, i work downtown and live just north of it. i vote palisades. your guests will MUCH prefer staying on the westside. i promise. especially if they’re not familiar with the city. the westside is just easier to handle and you don’t have to deal (as much) with the east-west traffic which is a killer.
my two cents.
Which one is cheaper?
There is nothing more buzzkill than some douche(s) flicking the lights on and off to kick your family and friends out at 11pm. Just FYI. Who the f cares about a view anyways? You’re gonna be paying out of the ass for all 2.5 hours of it. If you want an ocean view wedding just go to Erica and Kyle’s.
Go with the Beach, we’ll have great weather mid-fall, we always do in paradise.
It depends on how you like to party. When I got married (to the first wife that is) the party lasted until 6:00 a.m. Unfortunately my new bride had too much to drink, and passed out around 12:00 or 12:30. So I had nothing to do but party with friends, and was happy we had the reception in a hotel ball room where we could move the party to the rooms we all had next to each other.
My best friend did his differently, and he and his made an early exit around 11:00 to spend time together. They didn’t even drink that much. I, as the best man, kept the party going for several more hours after that.
So, are you guys going to party hard with your friends? Or are you saving some of the party for “special alone newly married time”?
Because who cares if they shut the party down early if you are not there anyway? The day is about you guys, not making sure your friends have a raging party after you leave. If you guys want to stay late and party down, then go with that. Don’t worry so much about everybody else. IT’S YOUR DAY. (More like WW’s day, but you get the picture.)